Today’s the day folks, today is the day Sky Sports would have you believe is the biggest and best day of the season. Not your local derby against your underachieving neighbours, not your Cup Final, but it’s the Sky Sports Invented Transfer Deadline Day!
Jim White will be defrosted from his cryogenic crypt and someone somewhere will be washing his yellow tie ready to pin on his wooden neck.
Kaveh Solhekol will be making up a load of lies to try and put Arsenal down like he did last time in the case of Tomiyasu, and various reporters up and down the country will be sent to places they really don’t want to go to, only to be abused by a dildo to the head.
In terms of ins and outs at Arsenal, Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang could still join Barcelona, either on loan or for good, while Eddie Nketiah seems to remain on Newcastle’s radar. It was also rumoured that the club turned down Patrick Vieira’s bid for the underperforming League Cup specialist to join him at Palace.
A new name has appeared on the list of possible incomings, with ex-Chelsea ‘striker’ Alvaro Morata being teed up for a move back to London to join Arsenal.
Swedish striker Isaac was also a strong rumour doing the rounds this weekend with the elite Arsenal bounty hunters spotting him in Selfridges and tracking down his personal plate, MOT and car tax dates and times, leading to a true 2+2=5 Twitter frenzy on Saturday.
It could be that Arteta has decided not to sell Nketiah meaning we won’t bother getting anyone else in, but if Aubameyang and/or Nketiah goes, we’re still woefully short up top, with just Lacazette really left, alongside Martinelli and Pepe.
Given that we have called off a game (you may have heard about it) through lack of players, Arteta’s clear out really won’t make a lot of sense without bringing in reinforcements.
Who can for the Andrei Arshavin saga in the snow on 2010, or the absolute genius Tottenham stitch up when we signed Mesut Ozil in 2013 plus plenty of other last gasp incomings such as Per Mertesacker, Danny Welbeck among others including Mikel Arteta himself.
Could it be that Arteta has left things too late, or could it just be yet another exciting Transfer Deadline Day, or as Arsenal fans call it… etc.
Keep up to date with everything over on our Twitter feed – it’s going to be wild… or not.