Our game against Burnley originally scheduled for a nice and cosy, ‘not -going-to-work-with-a-hangover-on-the-Monday’ Saturday 3pm kick off has been moved because Liverpool are shit at COVID.

You might remember Liverpool cancelled tonight’s semi-final as they had 3 COVID cases, meaning we now have to play them at home in two weeks time, meaning the Burnley game will now be moved to the Sunday, kick off at 2pm, Klopp announced this morning. The German manager has allowed us to play the game on Sunday at 2pm as he fancied an early roast dinner that day and the new time should allow him to settle down to watch it once he’s finished the washing up.

The first leg should have been at home tonight, with the return leg next Thursday, but Klopp has told the EFL that we are allowed to play Liverpool away next Thursday as planned and he will also then allow us to play our home game against them a week later, meaning the Burnley game is now not happening on the Saturday.

Liverpool closed their training ground after it was discovered the tea ladies’ Uncle who lives in Basingstoke knew someone with COVID meaning Klopp had no choice but to call off the game. Especially with their best players away at the African Cup of Nations.

Meanwhile, Man City have 21 people self-isolating, 14 are backroom staff and seven are first-team players yet their FA cup game with Swindon goes ahead this weekend #justsaying