Arsenal’s fluffy green mascot; Gunnersaurus, has offered to play all of Mesut Ozil’s games to keep the German World Cup winner in a job.
Ozil has been mysteriously dropped by Mikel Arteta since the COVID restart but the fluffy oversized king of the tyrant lizards has offered to help him out by playing regular first-team football in his place to help keep his huge salary rolling in every month.
The move to drop Ozil was frowned upon given his huge salary but he’s now been given a lifeline by Gunnersaurus, who could be the answer to our lack of midfield creativity despite his size 31 feet.
Gunnersaurus is seen as the Banksy of the mascot world, some suspecting he could be ex-kitman Vic Akers or ex-utility man Alberto Mendez.
Gunnersaurus tweeted today:
It’s not yet known whether the 9-foot dinosaur will be allowed to play given that he wears an Arsenal necklace and is thought to be over 68 million years old despite the usual lifespan of a dinosaur being just 28 years. However, one advantage of playing the non-avian dinosaur is that he only has small arms meaning the new and confusing handball law shouldn’t affect his performances too much despite his lack of pace in the final third.
Arsenal are yet to confirm that Ozil has been formally dropped from his role and no one has yet confirmed that he is not a part of Arteta’s future plans however the signing of Thomas Partey in yesterday’s transfer deadline day circus may suggest Ozil might struggle to win his place back under the best looking Spaniard you kno—oooow unless Gunnersaurus’ kind offer is accepted.