Well, yesterday was another Jim White frenzy, a fight to the death which actually ended pretty well for us Arsenal fans. The big signing was obviously that of Thomas Partey from Atletico Madrid for £45m, we activated his release clause on the day, and got embroiled in the usual last-minute race against time to get the deal across the line, or so they’d have you believe, it was probably done much earlier but anyway.
Luckily, Mikel Arteta had his pirate copy of Excel (because Kroenke doesn’t want to shell out for a proper one) primed and cocked for the deal and despite having 1 cell for each £ we had to transfer, his Lenovo managed to deal with the processor strain and the deal was done at 10:59:59. Phew.
Once Arteta had mopped up the fire caused by his laptop overheating, he took the time to tell ArsenalShorts exclusively that:
“He is a dynamic midfielder with great energy. He’s an intelligent footballer, and we’re looking forward to him integrating into our system…”
Arteta managed to find Vic Akers old laptop, cleaned off a few viruses, clicked on something about approving the sacking of Gunar Gunnersaurusson without reading it properly (which Arteta thought odd, as we only just signed the young keeper) before offloading Matteo Guendouzi on loan to Hertha Berlin via LinkedIn Messenger.
He also got onto his old MySpace account and had a bit of a friendly chat with Diego Simone and told him he’d be happy to lend him Lucas Torreira for the rest of the season and told him not to worry about Arsenal releasing any of his players’ release clauses later on or anything like that at all.
Another deal which you probably missed due to the Partey party was the signature of ‘the new Ibrahimovic’ in 18-year-old striker Nikolaj Moller. He signed a four-year deal and cost around £450,000 moving from Malmo and it’s thought he will join up with the U23 squad for now, but sounds like yet another promising youngster.
All in all with the signature of Gabriel dos Santos Magalhães at the back and the marquee signing of Partey I think Arteta did very well in this window and I can’t wait to see the next phase of Arteta’s rebuild.
…and finally, good luck to Theo Walcott who returned to Southampton after finding himself left out in the cold at Everton, and also good luck to Jack Wilshere who left West Ham by mutual consent after not being played as much as he’d like.