< Previous | August 8th 2014

Vermaelen Offski... Besiktas in the CL...

Turkish Delight in the CL Draw...
Following this morning's draw for this season's Champions League, we will play Turkish side Besiktas in the qualifying round.

We will play our first game away, and 2nd leg at home, AW's side has an unbeaten, 100% record in these games, but ex-Chelsea player Demba Ba will be hoping to spoil aforementioned record as he plays for Besh Besci Bestik The Turks...

Thomas Off to Spain...
Arsene Wenger this morning cycled to Manchester and turned down a massive bid from Man United, as he was hoping for a swap deal with Chris Smalling, but LVG refused. AW then walked straight to Barcelona to finalise the deal, and it's reported that a bid has been accepted from the Catalonians for about £15m. It's thought AW will swim the channel now and be back in time for this afternoon's training.

Shield News...
It's been sen-spray-tionally revealed that the vanishing spray will be used for the first time this weekend in the Community Shield at Wembley. The spray was a big success and will be used in the Premier League this season. It's main use will be to spray on the commentators scripts on the bits about Chelsea and Man City ruining football and spending billions of pounds to do it...

Germans OUT...
After Members Day at The Emirates yesterday, Sir Wenger confirmed that our German trio of Ozil, Mertesacker and Poldoski will not be available for the Crystal Palace game next weekend.

He admitted: "Our World Cup winners are back on the 11th August. They will miss the start of the Premier League..."

AW also cited the end of August for Theo to return to full training following the knee injury he picked up in the closing stages of our FA Cup tie against Tottenham, which we won 2-0, you may remember it...

Oh, we lost The Emirates Cup, and Johann Jeremiah Sulzeer Djourou has finally joined Hamburg for good...

The End.

No more updates for a week now, as I'm on holiday. See you next weekend for the start of the season Gooners, should still be twittering! Let me know if we sign anyone!


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