Keeper Gutted... Childs Play...
Shawcross Cross?.

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You Say It Best...
Fulham's Mark Schwarzer has dropped a bit of a large hint that he's slightly disappointed at not being allowed his dream move to Arsenal over the summer.When asked about the move, Schwarzer said: "I would rather not say anything, I would really rather not say anything because otherwise I might say something wrong..."

Childs Play...
Announcements over the weekend, that Man City, Everton and Spurs are to launch a new schools programme for deprived youngsters. We've seen a leaked document detailing some of the proposed timetables at the new White Hart Lane Education programme. Some of the planned lessons include:

"Negotiation techniques in pressure situations - Paul Gascoigne"
"What its like to win the league in colour- TBA..."
"Primates and Evolution - Gareth Bale..."
"Speedy DVD production - the Media dept..."
"Dealing with the Press with dignity and decorum - Harry Redknapp..."
"How to behave like a Gentleman - Peter Crouch Esq."
"Nutrition and Portion Control - Tom Huddlestone..."

#TonyPulisRugbyManager...
Tony Pulis is considering getting Wayne Rooney in to help him bolster his for his Stoke side. Apparently, he's keen to use Wayne's vast experience in getting hold of hookers...

Ryans' Sure Cross...
Following Shawcross's quote from yesterday: "He's obviously got something against me. It's just weird..." Ryan Shawcross... we've unearthed a few more quotes from history...

"I'm a bit of a one, not sure why everyone hates me, it's weird..." that ones from A. Hitler (GER).
"All I did was celebrate my goal and kick van Persie in the face on purpose, not sure why the Arsenal fans got upset, it's weird..." E. Adebayor. Man City.
"We just killed thousands of people to make a point, not sure why everyone hates us, it's weird..." Osama Bin Laden.

Christ we're bored. Damn you Interlull, I hate the interlull - FACT.

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